literature

Episode Retelling S2 E12

Deviation Actions

Published: Sep 17, 2015

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Literature Text

  Our tale starts in the Ponyville Hospital, with the Mane 6 in the waiting room. Cosmic is there as well. "Why do I have to be here? What's the point of it?" Cosmic asked. Because your character contract says you have to be inserted in every story in some way as soon as possible. It just so happened we were able to make you part of the story right from the start for this one. "Well, now you're going to be able to meet the procreational results of mating between the Cakes." Twilight Sparkle said. "Twilight, you don't have to turn stuff like that into Expospeak. We're in a fic, and don't necessarily need to stay TV-Y. So there's no problem with speaking normally about sex, drugs, violence, and death." Rainbow Dash said. "The only thing we can't mention completely is swears, though that's mostly because our reality seems to have a vocal censor that bleeps them out, making it where nobody can make out what was said." Fluttershy said. "Yeah. As an example: "That ****ing ****er ****s his ****er's ****er til she's ****ed. Did any of you understand that?" Rainbow asked. "Pretty much no, due to the loud bleep we heard while you said it." Rarity said. Mr and Mrs Cake walk into the nursery during this time. They reveal their babies to the crew. "This here is our son, Pound Cake." Mr Cake said. "And this is our daughter, Pumpkin Cake." Mrs Cake said. "Hold up a moment, 'ow is it that two Earth Ponies gave birth to a unicorn an' a pegasus?" Applejack asked. "Well, we could come up with an extremely convoluted reason about distant relatives of both of us, resulting in it seeming like I'm worried my wife cheated on me." Mr Cake said. "But the simpler truth of the matter, at least for this reality, is that my husbands father's mother was a pegasus, and his mother's father was a unicorn. Also, my father's mother was a unicorn, and my mother's father was a pegasus. The combination of recessive genes resulted in us having a unicorn and a pegasus." Mrs Cake said. The eyes of everypony but Cosmic move opposite each other before going back to normal. "That makes a whole lot more sense than the canon attempt at an explanation." Twilight said. "To let you know, once Pound's wings start going, he'll be all over everything." Rainbow Dash said. "Also, with Pumpkin, you should know that baby unicorns get magic surges that allow want- based magic usage, due to not knowing they can't do it." Rarity said. "Well,-it's-time-to-leave-the-babies-be-until-they're-old-enough-to-be-out-of-this-nursery. Then-we-can-play." Pinkie Pie said.

  *Fallout Boys - Immortal plays*
  *Reenactment of Big Hero 6 gear scene with ponies
  *Twilight Sparkle as Wasabi
  *Rainbow Dash as Go-Go Tomago
  *Fluttershy as Baymax
  *Pinkie Pie as Honey Lemon
  *Applejack/Rarity fusion as Hiro
  *Spike as Fred

  We go to the inside of Sugarcube Corner. Pound and Punpkin are sitting around happily gurgling, before Pinkie appears. She sings the Monthiversary song to them, and plays around with them some more. Just then, Pinkie smells bad diapers. "These-little-guys-need-some-changing." Pinkie said. "Got it." Mr Cake said, before removing and replacing the dirty diapers. "Anypony hungry?" Mr Cake asked. "On it." Mrs Cake said, before launching the bottles into their mouths. After they drank a bit, they started making weird faces. Pinkie noticed. "Uh,-Mr-Cake.-I-think-they-need-something." she said. "After eating, babies usually need to be burped, Pinkie." Mr Cake said, before doing so. "Well-then,-time-for-more-playing." Pinkie said. The two foals then follow her. Pound Cake smashes a block tower. "No pounding things, Pound Cake." Mrs Cake said after grabbing him. Pumpkin Cake finds and chews on a talc powder container. Mrs Cake takes it from her. "We don't chew on things, Pumpkin." Mr Cake said. "Yeah,-we-only-chew-on-food." Pinkie said. The Cakes gasp. "Great cinnamon sticks, we completely forgot." Mrs Cake said. "The massive order we need to deliver today! We need somepony to watch the foals while we take care of this." Mr Cake said worriedly. "Pinkie, we need you to watch the babies while we're gone." Mrs Cake said. "What!-But-I-only-know-how-to- play-with-them.-How-will-I-take-care-of-them?" Pinkie asked. "Here's a list of things to do to take care of them." Mr Cake said before giving Pinkie the list. The list unrolls to show how long it is. Pinkie looks at it worryingly. "Why-don't-I-get-some-help-from-friends-in-taking-care-of-these-two?" she asked. "Good idea Pinkie. Let's see if anypony will lend a helping hoof." Mrs Cake said. They then leave to do so.

  They first go to Fluttershy's cottage. "I'd love to help foalsit for you, but right now the CMC are spending the night again." Fluttershy said. An explosion is heard, and rainbow-colored dust could be seen in the backyard. "Dascababbadasa(What were you thinking) when you tried that?" Scootaloo said. "I was attempting to create a Rainboom in a bottle." ThrackerBotBelle said. "THAT's what we were trying to make? I almost thought we were making instant rainbows." ThrackerBotBelle said. "You should've used more Rainflower extract and less Stormroot for that." Applebloom said. "There is a major possibility that I miscalculated the concentrations of each ingredient needed." ThrackerBotBelle said. ThrackerBotBelle sighs. Pinkie and the Cakes next go to Golden Oaks. They ask Twilight. "I can't. Celestia asked for me and Spike to come to Canterlot to spend some time together." Twilight said, before packing some more thingsk into her bags and putting them on. Spike comes out wearing a backpack. "See you later, Pinkie Pie." he said. "Have-a-nice-trip,-you-two!-Don't-miss-my-party-tomorrow." Pinkie said. The two then leave for Canterlot. Pinkie & the Cakes go off to Sweet Apple Acres next. "If Ah could, Ah would. But right now, me an' Big Mac need to get enough apples bucked for the Ponyville Extravaganza tonight." Applejack said, before going on to kick more trees.

  Pinkie & the Cakes next try to go to Rainbow Dash for help. "Sorry, the Wonderbolts invited me to train with them. Besides, I'd do terribly if left to take care of some foals. Gotta go dash!" she said, before flying off. "Almost nopony is available to help!" Mr Cake said. They then go to Carousel Boutique, which has a line of big-name ponies in front of it. "I'm sorry, but I can't help right now, Pinkie. So many important ponies are currently asking for outfits, that I can't lend a hoof with any foalsitting. Why do you think Sweetie Belle and her friends are staying at Fluttershy's?" Rarity asked, before going back to getting dress-orders from various ponies. "We're out of options for a foalsitting aide, Pinkie. Where are we going to find a decently responsible co-foalsitter now?" Mrs Cake asked. Suddenly, a wave of 4th-Wall Energy passed through Pinkie Pie. "I-know-where-we-could-find-somepony-to-help!" she said.

  Pinkie then leads the Cakes to Town Hall. They find Cosmic standing near the entrance, staring off into the distance. Well, specificly staring off in the exact direction of Cloudsdale. "Oh,-hi-there-Cosmic!" Pinkie said. Cosmic turns his head her direction, and sees the Cakes. He puts his hand on his forehead and sighs. "I could understand having me in the pre-intro scene, but this is ridiculous. It seems the writer took my answer to the last question on that OC interview on Deviantart literally, as there's no reason for me to be here in front of the Hall. Anyway, how can I help you?" he said. "We have a massive catering order, and we need somepony to help Pinkie watch the foals." Mrs Cake said. "We checked with everypony responsible enough that we could, besides the Princesses, and they were all busy with something else." Mr Cake said. "You want me to help Pinkie take care of your little foals?" Cosmic asked. "That would be extremely helpful, yes." Mr Cake said. "Sure, I'd be happy to. I raised the Princesses 3-4 thousand years ago, so it'd be nice to look after some foals again." Cosmic said. "Good. We need you to come back to Sugarcube Corner with us so we can prepare the order." Mrs Cake said. The six of them proceed to go back there.

  At the bakery, Mr and Mrs Cake are gathering the supplies for the order., Pinkie is playing with the twins, and Cosmic is standing next to the door. "We know this was on such short notice, but we're glad you two decided to watch over our little dears." Mrs Cake said. "With both your expertise, I hope you can handle watching over them while we're gone." Mr Cake said. The two of them then bring out several carts of food. "Take care." they both said, before rushing off to take care of their order. After they're gone, Pinkie gets to looking at the chore list while Cosmic holds the twins. "Well,-I-need-to-keep-them-entertained-with- something.-Got-any-ideas,-Cosmic?" Pinkie asked. "Pumpkin wants to suck on everything, and Pound wants to smash everything. I have no clue what to do that keeps them from doing so while entertaining them." Cosmic said. Just then, Pound and Pumpkin climbed off of Cosmic's arms, crawled over to Pinkie, and then stood up and reached for Pinkie. "Huh! Now those are some unusually mature thoughts for foals." he said. "What-do-you-mean?" Pinkie asked. "They're thinking they want to have fun with you, and know that you'll do just fine taking care of them. It seems this fic's effect of combining past, present, and future memories and experience also applies to foals like them." Cosmic replied.

  After that, Pound and Pumpkin went along with the rest of Pinkie's chores without causing any problems. They eat their food with getting it all over themselves or everywhere else. They take a bath without any hassle. Pinkie successfully changes the twin's messy diapers... after having a mishap of putting it on herself by a combination of an accident and Rule of Funny. She also gets the two to go to sleep for her without any trouble. "Well,-this-went-by-much-easier-and-more-peacefully-than-in-the-actual-episode.-The-Aesop-of-the-episode-was-even-avoided-by-way-of-the-babies-being-more-mature-through-timeline-memory- coalescence." Pinkie said. "While I wasn't completely necessary to this episode, at least I had a purpose. I think I hear the Cakes coming back now." Cosmic said. And, lo and behold, they arrive back. "We finished our delivery. How were you two doing while we were gone?" Mr Cake asked. Pinkie leads them upstairs. "I did rather well, surprisingly." she said. "You sure did nicely with the babies. What'd you say to working as our full-time permanent foalsitter?" Mrs Cake asked. "Sure!-Taking-care-of-them-was-both-fun-and-somewhat-challenging.-I'd-be-glad-to-care-for-them-when-you-can't." Pinkie said. "And thus ends this retelling. Glad to be getting back on track." Cosmic said. Yeah. There was way too much time spent between the start and finish of this chapter. Specifically, around 1-3 months without getting anything done. The Author really needs to get his mind in high gear and get those next chapters out in a more scheduled manner. <Hey I'm doing the best I can. I just get very easily distracted and procrastinate a lot. It's not my fault I'm human.>